Thursday, April 14, 2011


The first thing I ever recorded on a VCR was Men at Work on Solid Gold. The first thing I ever bought with money I saved up was a Men at Work Cargo cassette at Lechmeres. I told Colin Hay both of these facts after his show in NYC. He figured out the fact that I'm a huge nerd.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Octopus Holler

My 7-year-old son invited me down to the basement tonight and asked me to be in his rock band Octopus Holler.  He sang and played guitar, while I played drums (neither of us know how to play either of these instruments by the way)  He wrote and sang 4 songs on the spot:

1. "Take Me On a Date Tuesday"
2. "Rattlesnake, Rattlesnake, You're Evil, You Will Kill Me"
3. "I Don't Want a Drumstick for Dinner (Maybe Breakfast or Lunch)"
4. "Why Are You a Punching Bag?"

Not only were these the song titles, but they were also the entire lyrics for each of these songs.  When we were all done "rehearsing", he asked me if I made a CD of what we did.  I apparently dropped the ball.  I thought it was just a rehearsal.

Friday, January 28, 2011

As seen in Sky Mall

Here's how I imagine the meeting
went at Gravity Defyer when they
decided on this logo...

Decision Maker: Ok, so we'll go with the second logo. 

Influencer: Are you serious? The sperm? You want our logo to be an image of sperm? 

Agency Rep: It's a tadpole. It represents how these shoes transform you into a leap frog. 

Influencer: Am I the only one seeing this? You're telling me we're going to put a sperm on all of our shoes? 

Decision Maker: It's gonna happen eventually anyway. Ha ha. 

Lemmings: Ha ha ha ha. 

Brown Noser: Good one, sir. 

Influencer: WHAT?? What the hell kind of shoes are we selling? I quit!! 

Decision Maker: Ok. It's agreed then. We're going with the sperm logo.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

I'm bushed...

Last week was a whirlwind. Spent most of the week in NYC. Made it out for the first part of @Rich Wolf's birthday festivities, got to see my younger brother @Jerard-James Craven, met baby Henry Fateman, saw @Jessica Kirson headline at Comedy Cellar, and saw lots of the @Bluewolf pack at the Holiday Party. Then returned back home for Jack's 7th Birthday Party featuring the magic and comedy of @Christian Saslo, and ended out the week in an improv show at @TheBasementTheater and in the @PuckinFuppetShow with @Jamie Ward...Thanks everyone for a great week!  Whew, I'm wiped out, and here comes xmas.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Help me Santa Claus, you're my only hope...

The trickiest items for Santa this year at our house? My son wants a real donkey, and my daughter wants the piece missing from the puzzle she made a couple weeks ago.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

It's beginning to look a lot like...

NYC is lovely this time of year. This is the view from my hotel room. Yes, that is the Port Authority Bus Terminal. Try not to be jealous.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


You ever been out of town and had to buy a hat and gloves because it's so freakin' cold, and then proceed to walk 10 blocks with them in the bag in your hand? Yeah, I didn't just do that either.

Monday, December 13, 2010


I learned another lesson this weekend. Don't go to the gym and let a trainer tear up your triceps on Saturday, if you have a 5 hour Puppeteering Workshop on Sunday.  I could barely lift my arms this morning to wash my flowing luxurious hair.

Sunday, December 5, 2010


I'm feeling guilty about how infrequently I update this site, so here's some blog-y, journal-y drivel for you to munch on...

Yesterday was one of those days that made me wish I had just stayed in bed. First thing in the morning, when taking the dogs out, they tripped me on the front stairs, and the cell phone in my pocket smashed on the bricks. The phone's LCD screen looks like a really crappy, tiny stained glass window now.  Lesson: Sandals, rain, rambunctious dogs, and my morning level of coordination are a bad combo; and Verizon insurance dings you $90 now for Smartphone replacements.

In the afternoon, we went Christmas tree shopping at a local cut-your-own farm. When we got home, as I attempted to take the tree down from the roof rack, it got away from me, and took the side mirror right off the truck. Lesson: If it takes 5 guys at the tree farm to put your tree on top of your vehicle, don't try to handle it by yourself on the other end; and by the way, clear packing tape holding your side mirror on doesn't look any less white trash than duct tape does.

I ended the night doing a set at a music venue in the 5-points area of Atlanta.  Lesson: Fifty single, 20-something hipsters, waiting for the band after the comedy show, do not find me funny.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Really dude?

Part of me wants to understand the story and thought process behind getting these vanity plates on your Corvette.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Monday, April 12, 2010

From Fulton Street to Fulton County

Last Thursday after wrapping up at work for the day, I hopped on the A train at Fulton Street in New York City.  A couple of train rides later, I got in my car at the Hamilton station. Then I swung by the house to pick up my favorite 3 redheads and we pointed the family truckster south.

After a long drive, a much-too-brief stay at a Holiday Inn, and another shorter drive, we arrived in Fulton County, Georgia.  This was the culmination of several feverish weeks of internet research, phone calls, email exchanges, and general plotting.

We spent much of the day Friday exploring the area and poking our noses around 5 houses in Roswell. At the end of the day, our Real Estate agent drove us by another house that we were slated to see Saturday morning.  I'd only seen 4 pictures of this new listing online, but as we drove by this particular house, I unexpectedly declared, "Sold!"

The next day, instead of dragging the smaller of the aforementioned redheads through another 8 houses that we were scheduled to look at, I stayed back at the hotel with them and swam in the pool. When we finally got out of the pool, I noticed 3 missed calls and 2 voicemails on my cell.  It was Lori, quite excited about one of the houses on her Saturday tour.

I packed up the kids and we met her at (of course) the house I had proclaimed, "Sold". We tried to not let ourselves get too emotional about it, as we've had enough real estate deals go sour, and there were already 4 other offers on this incredible house. Our 8-year-old daughter loved the house so much, she offered to kick in all of her allowance, if we could buy it.  So we made an offer. After a bit of anxiety on the drive north Saturday night, at 10pm we received a call from the agent, letting us know that our offer had been accepted. Yay!!

So here's your fair warning all y'all, the Cravens are moving south.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Advertising Fail

Great idea, put your company's phone number in a place that a lot of people will see it.

Better idea, include all of the digits for said phone number. 


Thursday, February 4, 2010

Toyota. Fail.

Snapped this on the way into the Lincoln Tunnel this morning. Great motto, Toyota!  Would be more effective if I wasn't listening to a news story about your gas pedal and Prius brake issues on 1010WINS at the same time

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Super powers not included

Found this in the instructions for a Batman costume.  I think this is generally good advice.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Zhu Zhu Pest

I think they should start putting these same warnings on real hamsters and gerbils.